Favorite

I was your favorite.
I know this is true,
from the pictures on the table,
a black and white snapshot,
skinny girl with a boy on her hip.
Playing dolls with a real baby,
bathed me, clothed me,
carried me, loved me.
Five by seven glossy,
A skinny boy in a white jacket,
too big to carry,
with a ring sewed to a pillow,
who turned invisible
in a room full of women and
watched you dress
for your wedding.
Color on Kodak paper,
you're eye level to a tall shaggy boy's shoulder.
Watched me grow
patient and kind
Listened to secrets moma can't know.
Liked my hair when it was longer than yours.
I’ll put on my black tie
and I will carry you today.
The books do not balance.
My account is overdrawn.
You have left with me
owing more than I can pay.
All I can do is stand
pockets and heart turned inside out,
trusting in your allowance and love,
one last time.
I was your favorite.
I know this is true,
because you told me so,
many times.